Techniques and Positions
It is undoubtedly a mistake to assume that women are any less sexual by nature than are men; it is much more likely that women simply express their sexual natures in a somewhat different manner than do men. And when it comes to anal sex, this is very true!
While it is true that some women come to relationships with little or no awareness of desire for anal pleasure, it does not necessarily follow that they are not capable of such feelings. In most instances it is only a matter of providing the proper cultivation and the right conditions. The average woman in love with a man is not averse to his fondling and caresses round the anal area if he does not go beyond what she likes or wants.
And even if she does object to anal sex, for example if it transgress her moral code, there are probably times when she wonders what it might be like. Kissing, petting, caressing, and all forms of close bodily contact with her lover are apt to arouse her to a level where the possibility of anal sexual pleasure becomes a reality.
Under favorable conditions it usually turns out that even a woman who by unfavorable training and adverse experiences was afraid of the more adventurous side of anal sex, so that at first she was quite unresponsive, will in the matter of a few weeks come to have genuine pleasure in such experiences and look forward with anticipation to her man's affectionate advances.
Women in general are much more given to the enjoyment of being fondled and caressed than are men. While this is probably not a primary sex response, it readily fits into that pattern after entering a relationship, while men seem to respond to nudity and other forms of visual stimulation more than do women.
Women, on the other hand, are more often responsive to feeling with their hands and bodies, to odors, and to verbal love-making. Both men and women vary greatly in all these matters, so that it is difficult to make any generalizations. A man is sexually stirred by things which leave his woman quite indifferent - which may include anal sex, for example!
Some women find it difficult to appreciate the fact that the average man reaches a peak of full sexual capacity and desire before he is old enough to vote. While boys tend to start their sexual maturing somewhat later than do girls, it is also true that boys tend to reach their full sexual maturity even earlier than do girls. Recent statistical studies like those of Kinsey tend to indicate that boys of eighteen and twenty are as potent and intense in their sexual capacities as they will ever be.
By cultural training, and possibly by nature, women come to their full sexual capacity somewhat later, requiring some considerable degree of cultivation and experience before they become as conscious of sexual needs and desires as men of the same age.
This difference in the intensity of expectation and desire with respect to sexual experience is something which some brides fail to grasp during the early days of sex. Men who have longed for an opportunity to express themselves sexually without restraint may be excused if they behave somewhat impulsively at first.
A man who blindly supposes that a woman who loves him will be as anxious as is he to engage in sexual activity may be surprised to find her not merely passive but actually averse to such intimacy, without her really knowing why.
She will need both understanding and patient cultivation before she is as able as the man to localize her desires and apply them to the gratification of both her own and her husbandís needs. Understanding the sexual difference between herself and her husband, a woman will prepare to be sympathetic to him and will seek in every way to co-operate in preparation for complete sexual harmony.
Whenever the element of fear enters the sexual experience of a man or a woman, it tends to destroy the value of that experience for them. The sexual drive in man is the most potent of all instincts!
Fear, hunger, fatigue, pride, and possibly other emotions may be so much stronger than sex that when they come into the picture sex fades into the background. Whether it be the fear of pregnancy, the expectation of pain, of shame, or any other anxiety or worry, it is something bad and needs to be removed before sex can be enjoyed.
Years of repression and a constant attitude of regarding all sex and nudity as something shameful make it difficult for some young people to face any sexual situation with poise or emotional freedom. Young men are by no means free front such attitudes, even to the point of being sexually impotent for a time until they have got over their initial embarrassment. Another possibility is premature ejaculation, the effects of which are pernicious in terms of both men and womenís sexual pleasure.
Punishment for sex play and experimentation, and misguided religious teachings that sex is evil, account for most such unfortunate fears in marriage. Unless these attitudes can be changed before marriage, they are likely to prevent the couple from enjoying good sex.
Other difficulties which may be caused include premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. These unenlightened attitudes to sex are something that we as a species should have left behind some time ago!
It may be that the woman is for the time being prevented from having an orgasm because as a child or an adolescent she was trained to think of sex as evil, or was attacked by a boy, or was otherwise shocked, and thus inwardly frozen and inhibited.
The ordinary methods prescribed for arousing a woman in such cases may not avail. It is first necessary for the man to release the wife from the fears and the feelings of taboo that prevent her from experiencing orgasm.
One of the best ways to release her is for the man himself, during the early days of the honeymoon, to share with his woman all of the experiences, anxieties about sex play, and the struggle that he passed through on his way to full enjoyment of anal pleasure and anal intercourse.
This, incidentally, will help to free him from the inhibitions which most people carry into sexual relationships.
But most of all, it will stimulate the woman to look back upon all her childhood experiences and see how she has, perhaps, become frigid and frustrated because of some deeply embedded and probably forgotten emotional conditioning.
He must also get her to see that she is not unique and alone; on the contrary, many have had to go through the same difficulties. If she can so thoroughly trust her man and feel utterly at home with him that she can not only trace back these experiences, but also live through them emotionally, again there is a fair chance that by so doing she can become liberated and enjoy anal sex fully!
This sharing of experiences may not only release both partners, but enhance and strengthen the whole relationship. Every couple needs to secure the necessary information as to how they may have satisfactory anal sexual intercourse - otherwise they will be losing a great deal of fun and pleasure!