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Anal Sex

Techniques and Positions


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One of the things that often puzzles men and women is knowing whether or not the internal anatomy of men and women is similar once through the "backdoor".

And the answer, perhaps unsurprisingly, is that it's exactly the same; in a way this is a great thing. It means that without the difficulty of difference -- think penis and vagina -- you and your partner will know exactly what is pleasurable for each other.

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However one area where things are different is in how exciting it is for the man. The tightness of his partner's anus ends to make sex feel more exciting and may even make him reach orgasm faster. This can be useful for men with delayed ejaculation, who may get more stimulation this way.

So to start with the basics: the A spot is the name given to the anus. It's puckered - normally - to keep things inside, but it's able to expand hugely when it's treated gently and warmly.

On the outside it's covered with soft tissue like the thin skin of your lips, and like your lips, it has millions of ultrasensitive nerve endings that can deliver great pleasure.

Inside are the O-rings or sphincters, these are circular muscles: one on the outside, and one near the inside.

The outer one is under voluntary control, while the inner one is under the control of the involuntary nervous system. This is why it's important to be completely relaxed for anal sex to be enjoyable and pleasurable.

In between these two rings of muscle is the anal canal, a soft passageway of muscle and sensitive tissue which has the capacity to both squeeze and relax under the control of its owner, thereby giving the potential of huge pleasure to both penetrator and penetrated.

Once you're through the anal canal, you are into the rectum, which is tube of a loose folds of smooth tissue which have the capacity to expand and can accept the penis or a sex toy.

As you probably know from your own explorations of your body, the difference between feeling relaxed pleasurable touch and an "ouch" can be a slight difference in pressure.

That's why care during anal penetration is necessary, and plenty of lubrication is needed to ease the way if anal play is to be enjoyable. And of course it's easy to forget when you're highly aroused that the anus is not a vagina.

Seems like an obvious thing to say, but it's worth repeating because whereas a vagina is built for penetration and possibly also for fast thrusting, an anus is certainly not!

The tightness of the anus can produce a rapid ejaculation when you eventually get to penile penetration - so for men who need to know how to control premature ejaculation, this program may be helpful - Ejaculation By Command by Lloyd Lester.

So the first way that you can warm up the backdoor and surrounding tissues for anal sex is to massage your partner's buttocks. And like all sexual activity, this is going to work better if you create a warm environment, soft lights and sweet music. No massage is complete without lots of oil and sensual touch.

Always remember that if you're using condoms, then you need to be careful because the latex will dissolve in the oil. It's also necessary to be intimate with your lover as you massage, so you can pickup the sensitive indications of how they are responding to your touch.

Massaging the muscles of the buttocks is pretty much an intuitive thing, but make sure that you ask your partner if the level of pressure that you're applying is right for them.

When you come to the anus itself, it's a very good idea to know exactly what you're doing. Essentially there are five levels of finger play.

The first one is simply putting your fingertip on the anus and applying a little bit of gentle pressure. This can promote waves of pleasure that ripple and out through your lover's sensitive sexual nerves and sensual areas.

Then, once he or she is accustomed to the touch, you can put your finger on the center of the anus and move it gently at varying speeds, or you can slide your fingertip gently over the anus in small sensual motions; or you can nestle your finger into the anal opening with soft pressure and hold it still; another idea is to twitch your fingertip with small movements like a shiver; and finally you can gently slide your fingertip all the way around the circle of the anus.

The next level of anal finger play is to just let your finger enter the anus - perhaps an inch or so. The secret to doing this successfully (i.e. pleasurably) is to use your fingertip on the anus first, and then, ensuring that you have enough lube and your partner is willing, to gently slip your fingertip inside.

You can hold your finger still at this point until your lover is accustomed to the sensation. Remember that moving your fingertip slightly will produce big effects: you can move it in tiny circular motions; you can wiggle your finger at the knuckle; or you can slowly slide your finger in and out.

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